On Being a Vampire

me: You should stab her with your pencil.
Miriam: I want to. It's already got my blood on it. [She cut her arm with said pencil earlier]
me: Yeah, and then she'll turn into a vampire.
Miriam: I'm not a vampire!
me: Well then somebody's been feeding me misinformation!

It's All in the Wrist

The following took place about 10 minutes ago, between me and my neighbor at work.

me: Do you have any Benadryl?
Miriam: Why, are you OK?
me: I'm fine, I just noticed some red spots on my wrist, and they're pretty itchy. It might be an allergic reaction to something.
Miriam: Oh. Well, where have you put your wrist lately?
me: Nowhere that my hand hasn't been!